How to Stop People from Thinking of You as an Old Lady

I want to break the stereotype of how people perceive women of a certain age as old ladies. There is still plenty of advertising with images of little hunched-up old grannies.

Here’s what’s funny. I’m a voice actor and can’t play an old lady because my voice still sounds like a kid.

As a blogger and YouTuber, brands constantly ask me to promote commode chairs, toilet rails, and games for people with Dementia.

I’m not saying those things aren’t important for older people, but many seniors are still active and kicking well into their nineties.

At the time of this writing, I’m 70 years old. I never thought of myself as old when I was 50 or 60 but when I had my 70^th birthday it hit me. Does that mean it’s downhill from here?

I think about how old my mother and her friends were in their 70s. They seemed much older than I feel now. Of course, my kids probably think I’m old but that’s the way it is.

Life has changed a lot since then. Many people today in their 70s, 80s, and 90s are still in good shape. Look at Mick Jagger. He’s over 80 and still bouncing around on stage.

In this post, I want to delve into what makes others see us as little old ladies and how we can change their minds.

Watch my video on how not to be seen as an old lady

Below are some reasons that others may see you as “old.”

You aren’t standing up straight

Are you hunched over when you walk? It happens because our bones become more fragile as we age.

I was once 5’3” and now I’m 5’2”. We shrink a little as we age.

Your mother was right when she told you to stand and sit up straight. I like to imagine a string attached to the top of my head holding my body straight. That was an exercise I learned in an acting class.

You could also try walking with a book on your head like girls used to do in the old days to improve your posture.

You don’t want to end up a hunchback. I had a great aunt and second cousin who had severe curvature of the spine, and it made their lives difficult.

You may not know this, but I was in a Netflix documentary, for a few seconds, about an artist and sculptor named Stanislav Szukalski who I met in the early 80s.

The film is called Struggle produced by Leonardo and George Di Caprio. Szukalski was in his 90s when I met him.

He was eccentric, but he preached the importance of standing up straight. I was amazed that he stood up straight as a rail in his 90s and had boundless energy.

He was also horny as hell. But that’s another story.

You aren’t moving enough

You may see senior women on Instagram doing complex Yoga moves, chin-ups, or even running marathons. It’s impressive but can also be intimidating.

Don’t feel you must try and do things you can no longer do because you could hurt yourself.

At one point in my 30s, I could stand on my head 10 different ways but I won’t attempt it now. I don’t want to take any chances that could result in disaster.

Let’s be real.

I believe, “The more you move, the longer you can move.”

Many older women have physical limitations that make it difficult to move at all. It happens. However, even a little movement can relieve pain and help regain flexibility.

If that isn’t the case for you but you’re sitting too much, even a quick walk around the block can help.

Park further away from the grocery store than normal.

Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Just make sure to HOLD ON to the rails because falling could undo all your efforts.

I like to do movement exercises that are fun and not tortuous like dancing, swimming, or Tai Chi.

The idea of working out in a gym with a coach drilling me to do squats and lunges doesn’t excite me. It’s more torture than fun.

I apologize to any fitness coaches reading this.

You also don’t want to overdo movement exercises. Going overboard with exercise can be harmful and the stress it brings will make your cortisol levels soar.

Stretching is super important as we age to maintain flexibility. It also feels good.

If you work at a computer like I do, take frequent breaks and get up frequently to move around or stretch.

Staying in motion will help you avoid painful arthritis which no senior wants to deal with.

Your balance is wobbly

The last thing we, as older women, want to do is fall. One slip could change your life and not for the better. I’ve tripped over my dogs a few times but luckily just got a few bruises.

A sprain or broken appendage takes longer to recover from for older people than a younger person.

Balance exercises are probably the most important exercises we can do as older adults. There are online fitness classes that provide balance and other exercise for seniors.

And don’t worry, if you feel shaky, it’s okay to hold on to a wall until you get better at it. Challenge yourself to do balance exercises with your hands by your side. It’s much harder.

The next time you need to change a lightbulb, you’ll have a better chance of surviving. Better yet, get a teenager to do it.

Strength training is crucial

Do you hate lifting weights? It’s not my favorite thing, but strength training is important for older people to maintain muscle mass.

Fortunately, there are many ways you can strengthen your body without weights.

An example is standing up from a chair and sitting down. That is what is called a functional fitness exercise. Here’s why.

Did you see that scene in Grace and Frankie when Jane Fonda couldn’t get up from the toilet? The two women invented a toilet to lift them off.

You don’t want to be stuck on the pot if you can help it. Doing that exercise will help you avoid needing toilet rails.

Some of the best resistance exercises use your body weight like squats, wall pushups, housework, gardening.

Remember that most of those 100-year-olds in the Blue Zones never saw a gym. There is no reason to spend a fortune on fitness equipment or a gym membership.

You are not getting enough shut-eye

I’m sure you know that post-menopausal women tend to have erratic sleep patterns. Do you ever get up several times at night to pee and then can’t get back to sleep?

Some “old ladies” I know believe they can’t sleep without taking sleeping pills. That kind of addiction is bad in so many ways. Don’t get on that train if you can avoid it.

Other solutions that may help you sleep better are:

• Blackout blinds
• No TV in your bedroom. It’s bad Feng Shui.
• Turn off your electronics at least one hour before you go to bed.
• Sleep in separate bedrooms if your partner snores.
• Maybe don’t sleep with your Great Dane in bed.
• Set a regular sleep schedule
• Don’t drink or eat right before you go to bed.
• You could use a play toy to reduce stress because, hey, we’re not dead yet.

Your memory is fuzzy

Do you often forget why you entered a room? I’ve been doing that forever. To keep my mind busy, I write blog posts, create videos, or try to figure out how things work online.

You may enjoy putting together a puzzle, crossword puzzles, or playing games. Maybe you love reading, singing, playing an instrument, or indulging in your favorite hobbies. There are many ways to keep your memory intact by doing things that you enjoy.

NEVER STOP LEARNING. Once you think you know everything, you become really, really old.

You have addictions

Addiction can seriously damage your mind and body. That includes drinking too much alcohol, taking drugs, smoking, and other weird obsessions.

People usually become addicted to something if they’ve experienced deep trauma or it’s part of their family history.

The only person who can cure an addict is the addict.

If you suffer from addiction, you must deal with your emotional issues by going to a therapist, or AA and Alanon.

And the best thing to do if you live with an addict is to focus on your own happiness.

I lived with an alcoholic, so I know. It wasn’t pretty and was stressful.

You obsess about your weight

They say it’s normal for post-menopausal women to put on weight. That may be true, but if you are like me, you also love to eat.

We may not be happy about our girth, but diets, fads, and pills can make us feel older instead of younger.

As I write I look about 7 months pregnant, but I eat right and exercise. I know that most of my weight is a result of Cortisol which has added to my belly fat because of stress.

Too much exercise and following crazy diets can add to that stress.

Setting a goal to be skinny is not always a good thing. Women who are too skinny have a better chance of having osteoporosis or eating disorders.

Then again, gaining too much weight is dangerous for the heart, and pretty much, all your organs.

Most diet fads or cutting out food groups do not work long-term. Ozempic may help you with diabetes, but it will not solve the deeper issues that caused you to gain weight in the first place.

Maintaining good health is a much better goal than reaching your “ideal” weight.

I live to eat rather than eat to live, which isn’t ideal, so I’m working on portion control. However, I don’t take meds or supplements and am doing great so far. Knock on wood it stays that way.

The best way to stay healthy is to EAT WHOLESOME REAL FOOD in reasonable quantities. Avoid processed foods, artificial flavors and sweeteners, fast foods, and too much sugar. If it comes out of a box, be suspicious.

Have you ever seen how Coke or 7up can clean a car battery? You don’t want that stuff in your stomach even if it says it’s diet.

Drink mostly water. Coffee and tea are fine too. And a little wine, occasionally, doesn’t hurt.

More seniors end up in the hospital because they are dehydrated.

Most centenarians do not diet. They eat what they want but in moderation.

You have funky feet

Your feet and hands have tons of nerve endings in them. Each nerve is attached to different parts of your body. Reflexologists can make you feel better by simply manipulating your feet and hands.

The way you treat your feet can affect your overall health.

Always wear well-fitted and sturdy shoes that will not make you trip. They don’t have to be ugly granny shoes. One of the most dangerous shoes for older adults to wear are thongs, which I wear all the time around the house.

Orthotics or insoles are good to wear in your shoes as our feet get weaker as we age.

Take care of your toenails to avoid problems like toe-nail fungus. The medication that is used to cure it if it is severe can damage your liver.

Make sure to get pedicures in sanitary establishments.

My mom’s toenails got so bad she had to go to a podiatrist just to clip them.

Stress and toxic people are freaking you out

Too much stress can turn you into an old lady fast. Do not tolerate negativity. Say goodbye to toxic people who raise your blood pressure.

Practice self-care. Get a massage, meditate, walk, or any activity that relaxes you.

Your views about life are more negative than positive

You give off negative vibes making you seem cranky and cynical.

Are you sitting at home waiting to die?  Stop that and smell the roses instead.

Get an attitude adjustment by finding things that bring you joy and gratitude.

It may sound airy fairy but practicing kindness will come back to you.

Laugh as often as possible. Many comedians have lived to ripe old ages because they had a good sense of humor.

They include George Burns, Phyllis Diller, Carl Reiner, Carol Burnett, Betty White, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Newhart, Sid Caeser, Milton Berle, Bob Hope, Mel Brooks, Don Rickles, Rose Marie, Jerry Stiller, and more.

Stay connected

Growing older can get lonely especially if a spouse or friend passes away which happens more and more as we age.

I’ve had two men I lived with die of cancer. I’ve also moved 28 times in my life. I’m lucky to have two wonderful kids, but they don’t live close enough so I can’t always see them.

Sometimes I go to events alone, but I don’t mind. I love getting out. I have met new people to connect with going to meetups. You can also find friends by joining groups that share the same interests.

Staying connected with others and having supportive friends is a key to not becoming a grumbly old lady.

Get to know your neighbors. That’s not always easy to do. I live in Los Angeles where hardly anyone knows their neighbors. But, even a friendly hello when you go for a stroll can make a difference.

What do you think makes older women appear to be “old ladies?” Please leave a comment below.