As we grow older, many of us will lose a spouse or partner and find ourselves single again. Or, we may not be working as much as we did when we were younger and want to save money on living expenses by house sharing.
House sharing rentals have become a popular choice for older widows, divorcees, or those who never got around to getting married. Trying to manage on your own can be difficult and overwhelming especially when it comes to finances. It’s even more challenging if you’re working less, come up short on Social Security, or have little in savings.
The women’s movement gave women our age the chance to enjoy lucrative careers and some married well, but others stayed at home with kids, didn’t go to college, or worked jobs without benefits. In Los Angeles, where I live, rents and other living expenses are sky-high.
It’s even harder for women who don’t have adult children or support from other family members when times get rough. Some feel lonely and isolated. House sharing makes it easier for women to live within their means and offers the companionship of others to help reduce some of the stress.
Consider the alternatives
In a previous post, I wrote about the concept of tiny homes often referred to as Granny pods. They’re small cottages no larger than about 400 square feet that typically sit in someone else’s backyard. It’s an appealing idea if you prefer to live alone but still within reach of someone on the same property in case of an emergency. The only problem is, you have to find someone with a backyard who’s willing to host you, and the cost of tiny houses isn’t cheap.
How to find a home looking for senior roommates
I recently learned about a house sharing website called Silvernest that has a database of homeowners who are seeking older people as tenants. The company offers a monthly service that generates a state-specific rental agreement, sets up auto rent payments, and gives renters access to a certified relationship counselor or attorney to answer their questions. It’s a brilliant idea!
Homeowners can use Silvernest as an extra source of income by renting a room to older tenants.
Moving in with people you don’t know can be scary, but Silvernest vets them out and assists in resolving roommate issues that may come up. For those who are short of cash, as many single older women are, there are options to reduce the rent in exchange for doing work around the home. Think of Silvernest as a dating service for roommates.
What could go wrong?
I rented a room in a home once and had to share a bathroom with a man, around my age. Even though he was a nice guy, it was a little creepy and I much prefer to have my own bathroom.
I also had two small dogs. My landlord was dog-friendly, but that could be an issue if you have pets. Even though we had full use of the kitchen, it was sometimes awkward. My refrigerator space was severely limited and I ended up microwaving most of my food, which gave me stomach issues. There were frequent guests in the home and we never felt comfortable hanging out in the living room, so we stayed in our rooms most of the time.
Overall, it was a pleasant home in a beautiful neighborhood and worked until I transitioned into a better living situation. In retrospect, I wish I would have taken more time to find a more feasible situation.
Now, I am renting an ADU home that a friend I met in high school owns and have a roommate my age. My girlfriend lives next door. We have our own bathrooms and full use of our living space and garden. It’s supportive, affordable, and fun.
Why sharing a home with other older women makes plenty of sense
In Okinawa Japan, a large percentage of women live to be over 100-years old. A factor in their longevity is that they hang out in groups with other women their age. Even in their 90s and beyond they support each other through life’s challenges which is an important factor for quality aging and a win-win situation for all involved.
I bet that’s why the TV show Grace and Frankie is so popular. Even though Grace and Frankie have little in common, they have a bond that keeps them going. And, of course, there were those Golden Girls.
What do you think? Can you see yourself house sharing with other women your age if you find yourself alone someday? Please leave a comment below.
Rebecca, I love this idea although would need my own room. Couldn’t deal with a roommate. But a lovely, good-sized home somewhere, like a big dorm, with my own hideaway? That sounds like fun. So sorry about your signature other who is ailing. Sounds like a tough challenge.
I agree, Laurie, I would have to have my own room and preferable one that is more of a granny apartment and cut off from the main house. Sometimes you can find a room that has it’s own entrance. That would be perfect.
I think it’s a great idea. I could use a great support group with fun women.
Hi Rebecca, I think you’re wise to consider living alternatives. I’ve thought about a tiny home (after watching a season of Tiny House Nation on Netflix!), but you’re right…the details could be difficult. I like the idea of sharing with another woman. Pros and cons for sure, but if I needed to I would definitely consider it. Or, go for the commune! 🙂
I hear you Candi. I say let’s start our own commune. That could be fun!
I’d like to share a house with 2 other women. Own bedroom and bath.. finding the right fit and-chemistry might be difficult.. but Frankie and grace did it. I think it’s a wonderful idea.. I have 5 grown children so I’m an empty nester and have been wanting a couple women to live with.
That sounds great Carmi. Having your own bathroom is a big plus. It’s also a great way to earn extra income. I hope you try it.
I am currently separated from my husband and I am still working. I would love to share a house with on dir room mate. But, I could never give up my little dog
I’m currently staying in a room in a house with 2 small dogs, Ursula, so you just have to look to see if it’s pet friendly. Many are.
I think it’s a fabulous idea as long as you find the right people. That would be the hardest part. I think that it could elevate a life that may be financially on the edge. It costs so much to live these days and that is terrifying!
You can say that again, Rena. The rents in Los Angeles are ridiculous. The same apartment I rented for $300 in the 70s is now almost $3,000. And people wonder why we have so many homeless here.
I think that at our age, if we are single ladies, professionals and meet basic criteria such as neat & clean, respectful, thoughtful…why not room together to save hundreds a month more towards retirement! (I did the math – here in L.A., 3 people in a nice sized 3/3 home can easily save $500 per person renting. Of course the person who takes the master will pay a little more). The trick is, finding the people who feel the same way.
That’s a good savings, Diane. I agree with you that the hardest part is finding the right people but it would be worth it.
This is an interesting idea. I never would have thought of this, but it’s not a bad idea.
It seems to be a trend, Lauren. But, it makes sense.
What a brilliant idea! As long as we had our own space to retreat to at times, this could be such a solution!
I agree, Diane. Having your own space to get away is important. I’d go nuts if I didn’t have that.
It definitely makes sense, but I really think as I age, I might be more uncomfortable living with strangers and the effort it could take to adjust to each other. I actually think there will be granny pod communities springing up before we know it. That would be the best of both worlds,
I know what you mean, Karen. I would want to be in an ideal situation before moving in with other people. I hope there are more granny pod communities that pop up, although I doubt they would be do-able in Los Angeles. Love the idea, though.
Perhaps, there should be “Granny Pod” land. That way, multiple Granny Pods could be set up. There would be neighbors, but each would have their own home and the support of other women.
I LOVE that idea, Jennifer. It would almost be a mobile home park for Granny pods. And a support network and maybe activities would be fun. Any developers out there?
I would be so open to this, were I single. I think it’s a great idea.
I agree with you Carol. It makes sense as long as you can get along with everyone.
Look at coops like Milagro in Tucson.
Before nursing homes, elders without family lived in boarding houses-not a bad idea.
My oldest friend and I shared an apartment in college. We have discussed, should my husband pass, keeping both of our paid off houses and share them. When two houses got crazy, who ever needs equity could sell and take care of the utilities while the other keeps the house. Lots to think through, but we did it before….
Thanks, for the info on Milagro in Tucson, Janette.. That’s so good to know. Also, a great idea you and your friend have. I hope it works out if that should happen.
YES YES YES