Do You Have Regrets For Mistakes in the Past?

There are a few things I’ve done in my almost 7 decades on the planet that were completely boneheaded. No one gets through life with a perfect score and I’m certainly one of them. I have regrets but realize that my mistakes were part of my journey. I’m sure I’ll make more.

Here are just a few of the things I’d like to kick myself for.

I didn’t take school seriously enough

I was an above-average student getting As and Bs but as a woman who graduated high school in 1971, I wasn’t apprised about the long-term effects of the choices I made. Women were expected to become housewives or secretaries until at least 1973. Not everyone’s career is dependent on having a college degree. Sometimes, it can even get in the way. That was mostly true in my case, but I regret not looking into it deeper.

My high school experimented with a flexible schedule and we were its Guinea pigs. We could choose whatever classes we wanted but some were questionable. They included subjects like beach sports, basket weaving, and writing about fantasy and science fiction. Sadly, they took the place of good old-fashioned grammar. I had only one semester of it, most of which I can’t remember.  I’m glad I have the Grammarly app installed on my laptop to help me write this blog or it would be embarrassing.

I didn’t plan for the long term

My major at my community college was Theatre Arts. The entire experience was fun, 70s-wild and I loved every second of it.  It didn’t give me all the practical skills I needed but it paid off because I became a professional actress in Los Angeles. What I didn’t do was get a college degree and after three years, left for Los Angeles to take acting classes. I regret that I never studied business or obtained a teaching credential because it would have come in handy during the lean times.

I was in my 50s before I traveled abroad

When I was twenty, a cute French guy named Emmanuel who was a flight attendant on a French airline, watched me perform at the melodrama theater I was working at in Knotts Berry Farm. It was my first paid acting gig and lasted for 3 years. Emmanuel and I had a fling and he asked me to go with him to Mallorca off the coast of Spain. I said no because I was paying for my own apartment and had two cats to take care of. I am kicking myself now because he was handsome, charming, and fun. The experience would have expanded my view of the world outside of the United States even if it didn’t work out romantically.

My first trip to Europe was a trip to Spain I took with my boyfriend when I was 53 years old. My kids were in their late teens and met up with us in Madrid. They have become avid travelers ever since. I’ve been on several other trips abroad since then but regret that I didn’t start sooner as travel is a passion for me.

It’s much less affordable to travel now that I am in my late sixties, my boyfriend died, and I live in an expensive city. I decided to explore my hometown of Los Angeles and started a travel blog about it because L.A. is a world in itself. There are still many destinations in the world I want to visit before it’s too late but that means I need to be creative to make it happen.

I got sucked into an MLM

My husband of 23 years became terminally ill when I was in my late 40s and my kids were pre-teens. I was busy doing voiceovers and writing scripts, but it wasn’t consistent enough to maintain our living expenses, especially in Los Angeles. I was recruited into an MLM (multi-level marketing) company right before he died to sell makeup and skincare. It was supposed to be a side job but it got to be much more serious.

I enjoyed the company’s positive outlook and possibilities for advancement and somehow managed to move into the top 2% of the company as a director earning 3 “free” cars. But, I always felt it wasn’t a good fit. For one thing, I’m Jewish and most of the reps were spouting off Christian scripture which made me feel uncomfortable.

I was involved with the company for 10 years and made money from it but also spent a ton of it to reach my goals. As a result, I ran up my credit cards. MLM is a deceptive business even in a top company that has longevity. I could never understand why my friends and family were hesitant to support my business until much later.

My recruiting skills were stellar, most likely because of my acting training. I had no problem convincing new recruits to purchase large inventories so they could “get their businesses started on the right foot.” The truth is, success in MLM only happens for the top 1-2% of the sales force and the majority does little to nothing.

My head was still in its positive “bubble” years after I quit and for a long time, I never said anything bad about the company. I didn’t realize until much later the extent of the damage I had done. There is a fascinating channel on YouTube called illuminaughtii that calls out MLM companies as well as shady individuals and corporations. If you are ever approached by an MLM “recruiter” and are on the brink of signing up, watch her videos. It is part of what inspired me to write this post.

As good as an MLM company sounds, there are many downsides. The products are overpriced, you will spend money unnecessarily, and your friends and family will run for the hills if you try to recruit them. MLMs latch on to prospects who are in desperate situations by putting them into a “positive” environment and making them feel safe. It also makes me gag to think I wore a hokey “uniform” that was the same as everyone else in my rank. How cultish is that?

Whoops! I did it again

I didn’t join another MLM but got involved in something else that was shifty. I started promoting a forum for a national networking organization. I attended a local meeting for entrepreneurs with my boyfriend to be coached by the CEO of the company. He was razor-sharp and told us about the forum and the top thought leaders who were part of it, some of whom were featured in the movie “The Secret.” $8,000 dollars later, we became lifetime members.

It was a huge expense for us but we were told they would teach us how to “fund bust” so we could raise the membership fee by procuring loans from family and friends.

Not long afterward, I became a Club President for a chapter in Los Angeles. The idea was to earn back our investment and make extra money in commissions when I signed up new members.

At the forums, we were taught business skills by top entrepreneurs and listened to A-list motivational speakers. However, much of what was discussed, such as investing in other companies, was way over my head.

Typically at seminars, the speakers go to the back of the room after their speech to sell eager participants their over-priced “courses and consultations. That was not allowed at our forums, but on the last day, they could sell to their heart’s content at a “business expo.” Sadly, too many participants who shouldn’t have been there in the first place because they were broke, got hoodwinked by these business gurus and left with thousands less in their bank accounts.

I wrote about Neurolinguistic programming in a previous post. Motivational speakers, MLM companies, and politicians use language and repetition to suck in customers. Beware of it.

I finally stopped working for them and moved on to web design and blogging because there was almost no overhead involved. Now, I write about active older women like myself. I sometimes promote products that I love but I don’t harass people or try to recruit them into anything. If a reader clicks on a link in my content and decides to purchase something I recommend, it’s totally up to them. I earn a very tiny commission if they do but it is completely passive and helps me get by as I never had a 401k or a large pension.

I regret some of the choices I made as well as others I don’t want to mention but we all make mistakes. It’s part of the learning process and helps us evolve as human beings. Instead of beating myself up over it, I am posting what I did as a means to repent. Not that it will change anything.

Do you have regrets in your life you haven’t expressed but would like to? Please leave a comment below.