How I Learned to Live With Less After Making Big Mistakes in Life

I am the first to admit that I made huge mistakes in the 70 years I’ve been on this planet. Most of them were financial. We all make bad choices and must live with them. I learned how to live with less and it’s been freeing.

Watch my video describing my big mistakes and how I overcame them.

https://youtu.be/3GdERH4oo9U

My backstory

I was a theater nut in high school and college and dreamed of becoming an actress. I graduated high school in 1971. Most girls my age, during that period, didn’t have lofty ambitions because we weren’t taught to.

When asked in our yearbook what my female classmates wanted to be when they were older, most said “Housewife” or “Secretary.” My parents didn’t encourage me to go to college because they assumed I’d get married and get taken care of.

When I was in college, Women’s Lib came to the forefront and much of that changed. At that time, my desire to be an actress was fervent. I found a job working at Knott’s Berry Farm doing melodramas at the Birdcage Theatre which was my first paid acting gig and worked there for three years.

It is still, to this day, my very favorite job. After three years of community college, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue my career.

At one point I took a detour after meeting a producer in a parking lot across the street from my acting class on Hollywood Blvd. He got me a job as the head of wardrobe on an epic period film even though I had no idea what I was doing.

While working on that film I met the man who became my husband and also a guy who became my boyfriend later on. The film led me to work in the union as a wardrobe assistant on major TV shows for a few years.

I was making good money doing wardrobe for TV but still wanted to be an actress like a dummy. My husband worked in the industry on independent projects but I was making much more money than him.

I decided to quit and pursue acting again to give him a kick in the butt, which worked for a while. He got more work and I did theater, voiceovers, and some on-camera roles. Life was fine for a while. After eight years of having a long childhood, I gave birth to two kids and was able to stay home with them because I only had to work a few hours doing voiceover gigs.

When my kids were 11 and 13, my husband died of a brain tumor leaving me with only a small life insurance policy that didn’t last long. I was a single mother with an erratic income and two pre-teens to take care of.

I reconnected with the other man I met on the first film I worked on. It was a two-year project. We met a year before my husband started working on the film. He was the director of photography and we had a wild romantic fling. Sadly, I discovered he was married and had to cut it off.  

My husband’s life insurance payment was minimal but it was enough to put a down payment on a home that my kids and I lived in for a few years. When my boyfriend decided to move in with us, he thought it would be better to find a bigger home. I sold my house and bought one down the street that was way more than I could afford.

He worked steadily as a camera operator for 40 years and was working on a major TV show when we moved in together. I felt comfortable purchasing the house in my name because he had other properties and was making good money.

Soon after he moved in, I discovered that he had a drinking problem which didn’t go over well with my kids or me. Still, we managed to travel and have fun for a while. My kids had some opportunities they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

My son joined the Air Force right after high school. It was a great move for him and he has made a career out of it. My daughter started working at 16, put herself through college and now has a thriving career and a wonderful husband. I lucked out in the kid department despite what we were dealing with.

After my kids left home, my boyfriend’s show got canceled. He was 60 and had worked on the show for 11 years. This only exacerbated his drinking problem. The financial crisis of 2008 hit, and we lost our house.

I would have liked to have left but financially it was impossible. He received a pension from the film industry which kept us afloat, and we moved twice after that. At that point, we were more like roommates than romantic partners.  

His drinking problem was serious and I believe it caused him to be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I took care of him for a year and a half until he died in 2020 just weeks before the pandemic.

Despite the challenges of living a “creative” life, I got by. I had to reinvent myself several times and learned to live with less. If I had to do it over, I probably would have made better life decisions, but it didn’t work out that way.

How I learned to live with less

I eat at home instead of going out

I rarely go out to dinner except on special occasions. This saves me money and controls what I eat to stay healthy.

I never buy processed or junk food.

Processed foods cost more than fresh foods and aren’t good for you. Eating nutritious foods keeps you healthy and helps to avoid medical costs.

I find free activities to enjoy

I look for free local activities to have fun and often take strolls through interesting neighborhoods. That led me to write a blog about things to do in Los Angeles that are affordable.

I cut back on my wardrobe

I buy basic clothing items that can easily be mixed and matched. This saves space in my closet and is easier on my budget.

I try to go eco-friendly

I pay all my bills online and do not order newspapers or magazines to cut back on paper. Instead, I read the news and get information on the internet. This saves trees.

When I recycle my old clothes by donating them to thrift stores, someone else can enjoy them. This makes them sustainable. Fast fashion companies pollute the environment with chemicals and waste.

I drive less

I kept my Prius in good shape and drove it for many years without a car payment. Sadly, someone ran into it and it was totaled. I was not hurt but had to buy a new (used) car.

I saved a ton of money not having a car payment and driving a gas-efficient car. If you can use public transportation it also helps. Seniors often get discounts to ride buses and trains.

I watch other people’s pets

My two precious doggies got old and sick leaving me with vet bills I am still paying off. As much as I would love a new dog, I pet sit for friends and my daughter. This gives me my pet fix without the bills.

If you love to travel, you may want to consider Trusted Housesitters. You can work as a pet sitter in many countries to save money on hotels. It’s pretty cool.

Have you had challenges or made big mistakes in life? How have you overcome them? Please leave a comment below.