Ever Been Called a “Princess?” Time to Own It

May 9 marks the 30th anniversary of Hollywood’s remake of the classic story, A Little Princess—but the original message from Frances Hodgson Burnett’s 1905 novel still hits home: “All women are princesses. It is our right.”

That’s not the sparkly tiara, ballroom gown, rescued-by-a-prince kind of princess. Burnett’s heroine, Sara Crewe, held onto her dignity, grace, and strength even after losing everything. She didn’t wait for a fairy godmother—she became her own.

I lived my own unique version of the princess story. Like many daughters of Baby Boomer moms, I believed in the Cinderella model: meet the guy, land the ring, ride off to a happily ever after (just don’t ask what happens after the credits roll). That glass slipper fit my mom – she lived that fantasy for real. In our neighborhood, most women followed “the princess path”: a short stint at college, then marriage, motherhood, and homemaking.

That’s the version I internalized. But as I learned—and share in my memoir, Forget the Fairy Tale & Find Your Happiness—fairy tales didn’t prepare us for real life. They didn’t account for second acts, heartbreak, reinvention, or the deeply personal quest to find happiness on our own terms.

And no, we can’t blame Disney entirely. Generations of women were raised on stories of damsels and dashing rescuers. Disney just gave them catchy songs and sparkly dresses. Snow White literally sang into a wishing well while waiting for a man to “find” her. No wonder she went all in on the first guy who kissed her.

As young Baby Boomer women, many of us believed our role was to be chosen, cherished, and completed by a partner. The prince didn’t need a white horse—he just needed a ring . We assumed he would deliver the happiness and a paycheck.

But oh, how the story has changed

Like Sara Crewe, my life veered off-script. I faced challenges that stripped away the fairy tale and revealed a different kind of strength—the warrior kind. I became my own version of Mulan, Moana, Merida… or maybe Tiana, Belle, or even Ariel—curious, bold, driven, and not afraid to explore outside the lines, or across cultures. I stopped waiting for Prince Charming and learned to ride the white horse myself—with my kids buckled in behind me.

Burnett was right: every woman is a princess. But not the kind who waits around. Today’s crown isn’t just metaphorical—it might be a degree, a business, a bold decision, or a battle hard-won. We still have dragons to slay: societal expectations, our own doubts, the voices that whisper “you can’t.” But we know better now.

Because the real happily ever after? It’s not about finding a prince. It’s about finding yourself.

Deb Miller is the author of Forget the Fairy Tale & Find Your Happiness, a candid and empowering memoir of resilience, reinvention, and the quest to define happiness on your own terms.

She recently chatted with Keri Wilt, great-great-granddaughter of A Little Princess author Frances Hodgson Burnett, on The Well-Tended Life podcast.

About the author

A former corporate executive turned marketing professor, Deb Miller has traveled to nearly 50 countries and is now on a mission to visit every U.S. national park. She lives in Redmond, Washington, where she can usually be found walking her high-energy Auggie, toiling in the garden, or adventuring with her grandchildren.