I was Googling what women over sixty were searching for online to see what they want out of life. The answers make sense because life can change drastically when you are older.
Friendship with other women is most important to older women
No one wants to be completely alone. Some of us may enjoy our solitude but still crave the company of good friends. Women tend to gang together because we share the same anatomy making it easier to relate to our physical and emotional changes. Your spouse may be your best friend but it’s harder to express how you feel when you have a hot flash or pee when you laugh.
I’ve had two men predecease me and supportive friends have made a huge difference in how I coped. Caregiving them isolated me for long periods of time. My girlfriends helped me get through those difficult times.
If you are no longer working or locked into a hectic schedule now is the time to nourish lasting friendships. They may be who you need the next time you face a crisis.
The next answer was “love”
I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t want love in their life. It may not be a desire for sexual love but instead feeling loved by those who are dear to you. Tell those you care for that you love them often, and they will reciprocate if they feel the same way.
Some women over sixty are also looking for physical love. Age doesn’t have to mean that our sex lives are over. You may feel uncomfortable in your aging body, think you need to lose weight or worry that you are competing with younger women. Those fears may cause you to repel love if it comes your way.
Sex may also be painful, and it’s no fun if you end up with a backache or feel dry as a desert but there are solutions to make it more pleasurable.
It doesn’t matter if you are single, never married, widowed, or divorced, the desire for love changes as we age. You may be ready to get back in the saddle and start dating. Or, you are enjoying having space to yourself but still may be willing to entertain a casual love relationship without a major commitment. You may even be content to make love to yourself. Self-love is the key to enjoying the love of others.
Older women want “SECURITY”
Financial and mental stress are killers and may cause you to have serious health issues. Equal rights empowered women in our generation to work, build a healthy financial portfolio and be financially secure independently. However, not all of us took the same route and are having a hard time making ends meet.
Did you work in a less secure field or stayed home to take care of your kids or parents? Social Security only goes so far if you are dealing with debt or a high cost of living. When you have to decide whether to buy dinner or toilet paper it can be terrifying.
No one wants to be a burden on their family members or friends, but some older women find themselves in a helpless situation. It’s difficult to find a job as a senior unless you want to stand for hours greeting customers at Walmart. If you have a physical disability, it’s even harder. Some cultures revere their elders and take care of them in old age but senior women in the U.S. may find themselves in dire straits or even homeless.
They want to feel “appreciated”
If you are a woman who is sixty or older, you have experienced most of life’s ups and downs and have gained wisdom as a result. Still, older women are often cast aside or made to feel like fools. It is normal to want to be appreciated for the sacrifices you have made and the dreams you put aside for others.
Appreciation doesn’t have to be material although there are many wives or friends who have spent long hours as caregivers who are left with nothing. A simple and thoughtful gesture of respect can make everything a woman has done for others seem worthwhile.
If you are currently in a relationship and are feeling ignored or set aside, I recommend reading “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.” It details how couples can effectively express appreciation for each other in ways that are true to their natures.
If you are flying solo like many older women these days, learn to appreciate yourself and your accomplishments. You may think you have achieved very little, but if you write down your accomplishments, you will find you have had plenty of success.
- Learn to love yourself
- Do something nice for yourself every day.
- Be grateful for who you are now even if you made huge mistakes in the past.
- See challenges as opportunities to grow.
- Replace your anger with laughter and look on the bright side.
- Learn to relax.
- Don’t be afraid to say no.
- Put yourself first.
- Be your authentic self without caring how people think.
What are you looking for in life now that you are older? Please leave a comment below.
Diane says
Ohmyword, yes to all of the above!
Wonderful article!
Rebecca Forstadt-Olkowski says
Thanks, Diane. I’m so glad you liked it.
Laurie Stone says
What a wonderful post and yes to all!
Rebecca Forstadt-Olkowski says
So glad you agree, Laurie!
Mery says
I agree!
Rebecca Forstadt-Olkowski says
Me too!