Senior Sex: Two Women on a Mission to Educate the Public

Surprisingly, this post has become very popular, meaning Baby Boomers are still horny. LOL! The topic is senior sex which is something we don’t often talk about out loud because it would embarrass our kids. If that makes you uncomfortable click on another post. Making love is part of life and just because we are older, doesn’t mean we have to be dead in the bedroom, right?

I interviewed two ladies who have a great deal of experience in this area. Author and speaker Joan Price is a leading senior sexpert, and Jessica Drake is a well-known adult film performer. You may want to ask your husband about her. LOL! Both have teamed up to produce an educational film about the joys and challenges of having sex later in life.

First, a little about Joan

Joan Price is a former English teacher who taught high school for 22 years. She later switched to writing and speaking about health and fitness, which she claims saved her life after an auto accident.

She fell in love with artist Robert Rice in 2000 after years of being single. She was 57 when they met, and he was 64. They became a couple in 2001.  Robert was her great love. Their relationship was so dynamic, hot, and sexy that she couldn’t believe there was so little written about joyful senior sex at the time.

She wrote her first book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty when she was 61. It celebrates mature sexuality. Even though our society has evolved, there are still negative connotations about seniors having a good time in the sack.

How Joan and Robert met

Joan also taught early morning aerobics. Menopause was hitting her hard, interrupting her sleep patterns, so she had to set an alarm clock to wake up. She decided to teach line dancing at night instead.

Robert had recently moved into her area. He was an excellent dancer and was looking for a place to socialize when he found Joan’s line dancing class.

Joan told me when I interviewed her that a dance class is a wonderful venue to find love because it’s both social and physical. When you dance with a partner you communicate with your bodies. From there, you may start flirting, and then, who knows what will happen?

Finding love in a dance class may not happen to you as fast as it did with Joan. You may have more luck on an online dating site by putting your interests into your profile.

Joan and Roberts enjoyed 7 blissful years of love and lust until he died of cancer in 2008

Robert’s death didn’t mean that intimacy was over for Joan. She fairly quickly entered into another wonderful and nurturing relationship with another widower. They met on an online dating site and bonded because they both shared the experience of losing a great love. Both enjoy having sex and he began line dancing with her as well.

Robert’s death spurred Joan into writing another book called Sex After Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved.

Joan’s collaboration with adult film star Jessica Drake

Joan ran into Jessica Drake at sex education/sex activism conferences they attended including Woodhull – Sexual Freedom and Catalyst Con.  She was impressed by how articulate and knowledgeable Jessica was when she spoke on her panels and they developed a mutual admiration for each other.

Jessica has been a sex educator for a decade in addition to performing in adult films. She also works as an activist for sex workers and sexual performer rights.

She produced a series of how-to sex education videos called Jessica Drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex. I won’t go into detail but they are very explicit.

Jessica told Joan that she wanted to delve into underserved markets like senior sex and invited her to collaborate with her in developing a film on that topic for her Wicked Sex series. Joan had some trepidation, so she asked her newsletter subscribers what they thought about the idea. Most responded positively and some told her what they hoped to learn from the film.

She decided to go for it and wrote the script for her narration. It gives viewers tips on how to deal with the obstacles of senior sex as well as how to communicate what you desire and stay safe. The scenes were filmed with real couples and are unscripted. You will see them telling each other their needs and how they deal with challenges such as pain, changing libidos, positions they want to try, and other issues.

The first couple has known each other for over 50 years. They were lovers in college, lost touch for a while, reconnected, and went on to have a beautiful and tender long-term marriage.

The other couple met for the first time on the film set. Jessica wanted to show what might happen when you’re newly dating and negotiating sex. Their segment goes into safe sex boundaries, what they like and don’t like, and how they interact with each other sexually for the first time.

Both agreed to have sex with each other on camera and discovered in the process they each had a kinky side. They only had a couple of private and public conversations to get to know each other and negotiate their hard limits but otherwise, they were strangers when the camera rolled.

This isn’t something I would recommend in real life unless you are super daring.

Common questions older people ask about senior sex

The main question Joan gets asked is what to do when things aren’t working like they used to. Sex might be painful, libido dwindles, physical responses aren’t the same, physical issues make it hard to perform, etc.

She goes into depth on these issues in her books but recommends that if you’re having difficulties, talk to your doctor and tell him or her that sexuality is important to you. Most of the time, problems with seniors having sex arise from a physical condition that can be treated to some extent.  If your doctor can’t help you, they can refer you to someone who can.

About Jessica

Jessica has been a top adult film star for over a decade and continues to perform on camera in her 40s. She ventured into sex education in 2011 because she was continuously being asked for sex advice.

The more people she talked to, the more she realized there was a massive lack of sex education. The advancement of technology has made the fantasy end of adult entertainment so readily available that people are getting their education by watching videos rather than learning what happens in real life. Jessica feels that does them a disservice.

She talks to couples privately and does events, workshops, and Ladies’ nights as a speaker at Universities, and sexuality conferences. Her celebrity attracts her audience and gets their attention enabling her to teach them about real-life sex issues.

Her collaboration with Joan was something she wanted to do for a long time because she was immediately taken by her messaging and her ethics as an educator.

One of the goals of Jessica’s film series is to cover how sexuality has changed over the years. What older people did back in the 70s may not be applicable now. A topic they deal with extensively is safe sex and protection by using condoms, dental dams, and testing because sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis are spiking in the Baby Boomer/senior demographic.

Other concerns addressed in the film

Mismatched libido, a variety of physical changes in appearance, and communications are covered, but also how society lays out unrealistic expectations in terms of sexuality and aging.  Seniors become invisible, undesirable, or the butt of a joke. The film’s couples deal with their physical limitations because it’s common for older people to experience arthritis, achy joints, and trouble maintaining positions they were once able to perform.

The woman in the first segment has chronic pain and her spouse frequently asks her how she feels and how he can make adjustments to make her more comfortable.

Another topic that’s addressed is using lube because sometimes it has a stigma attached. Jessica trains her viewers on basic lube education and what’s available. She says that people think lube is only for older people, but it makes some acts possible that you couldn’t do without it. Medically, it reduces the cuts and tears that can increase the risk of STDs. You don’t see it used in adult films because they’re supposed to be a fantasy but it’s in full view in her educational films.

There’s a perception that adult films promote an unrealistic view of reality, but Jessica says in the last 10 years they have become much more diverse showing an array of body types. We all have imperfections, even those who others perceive as perfect.

Her series was shot with limited crew members because none of the participants had ever been on camera before. In contrast, Jessica’s other how-to films are filmed using experienced adult film performers. She also brought in a more sensitive camera operator. His first instinct was to cover up the couple’s imperfections, but Jessica asked him not to because she wanted to keep it real.

My honest impression of the project

I found both women to be fascinating, and knowledgeable and thoroughly enjoyed talking to them. Sex is a normal part of most people’s lives at any age so why not enjoy it?

I can tell you after watching the film that it’s very real, and not at all salacious. The educational aspect of it is valuable and Joan’s narration and tips are well thought out and helpful.

However, at the risk of sounding ageist, watching older people doing it hardcore on camera isn’t my cup of tea, but it may be yours. If you’re adventurous, I invite you to visit both Joan Price’s and Jessica Drake’s websites to see for yourself.

I love that these ladies are so open talking about senior sex because it’s important. I also appreciate their entrepreneurial spirit. Most of us have a one-sided view of the adult film industry, but Jessica is business-savvy, smart, and passionate about what she does. Joan found a niche that resonated with her and she uses her educational background to her advantage.

If you are a free spirit, you may also enjoy reading my post: Fifty First Dates After 50: Alternative Lifestyle Dating Book Review

Do you have questions about senior sex you want to know about? Please leave a comment below.