Overcoming Extreme Challenges as an Older Woman | Interview

I interviewed Best Selling Author Rebecca Faye Smith Galli, who has experienced some of life’s most difficult challenges. They include the loss of a child, sibling loss, divorce, special needs children, and paralysis.

Her newest book is “Morning Fuel: Daily Inspirations to Stretch Your Mind Before Starting Your Day.”

Watch our video interview here.

Highlights from our interview.

Her first book, “Rethinking Positive,” took her twenty years to write she had to deal with extreme challenges.

She became paralyzed in 1996. The cause was a spinal cord transfer that happens to one in a million people. She had just been divorced for nine days and had four children ages 3, 4, 6, and 9.

A high school friend she hadn’t seen in twenty years read about her on the Internet which was in its early stages at the time and encouraged her to write about it.

After the book came out people kept asking her how she kept going. She told them she practiced reading something inspirational every morning. Her most recent book is a collection of short daily readings to inspire others.

Many of those readings were taken from what she heard in childhood and throughout her life. Each has a little bit of a message

I asked her how she dealt with paralysis and four kids as a single mother. She was fortunate in that her ex-husband, family, and friends were supportive.

It can be difficult to do things alone or to feel you are alone when you are undergoing challenges. Having a good support system is so important.

How she sets her day up for success.

Becky gets up in the morning, has a glass of lemon water, and then coffee, reads two or three things to get inspired, and then journals.

Her journal is divided into sections. The first thing she writes about is how her body is doing. Becky is paralyzed from the waist down and says she never knows what to expect from her lower half each day. Some days it makes progress and other days it slides backward. Her journal keeps a record of that.

She also writes about her life, what she did that day and her current mood. Next, she sets goals for the day, gives herself affirmations from the previous day’s goals, and comes up with three things she is grateful for to kick the day off right.

Gratefulness is a superpower

If you can take a negative situation and still be grateful for it, it will change your perspective. That is not always the easiest thing to do it’s difficult.

Having a positive attitude is a choice. What lens do you want to look through? It isn’t always easy but is a muscle you can develop by consciously looking for the positive.

Challenges as a mother

Two of Becky’s children were special needs children. Her oldest son had epilepsy and a degenerative disease. She lost him when he was fifteen. Her second daughter is autistic and is limited. She cannot read or write and can’t be left alone.

Early on before the internet, her daughter was enrolled in a program and was given a flyer to take home by another parent about a therapy to help autistic children.  It had never been mentioned by Becky’s daughter’s doctor or another educator.

Because of this information, Becky and her friend created a non-profit called Pathfinders that helps parents find the path for autism. The organization has been active for almost twenty-five years and serves 20,000 people annually.

 Her daughter now lives in a group home which she enjoys. She lived at home with caregivers until her behavior made it too difficult for Becky to take care of her but they see each other often and for outings.

Finding purpose despite difficulties

Becky has always enjoyed writing and started writing for publications.

One of her writing professors asked the class to write about their “why” for writing. Becky came up with “I believe life can be good no matter what. Her books and content reflect that.

It’s not that life can be the best. She doesn’t enjoy being paralyzed and doesn’t know why it happened to her, why her son died, or why her daughter was autistic, but sometimes we have to live with these questions.

It gives her a purpose to write about questions like that and share them with others. Once she gets feedback it creates a connection which she enjoys because she is limited in her activity.

Tidbits from her book

When she was first paralyzed she had some friends over and was churning ice cream with an ice cream maker. However, the ice cream didn’t form the way it was supposed to. Her dad, who lived six hours away, called her to ask how she was doing with the ice cream. She told him it wasn’t getting solid.  He said, “Well, you can always serve milkshakes.”

Her dad’s answer was so affirming because he didn’t criticize her or ask if she followed all the directions, and didn’t try to fix it. It was just dealing with what was and making the best out of it.

The book has vignettes like that and questions such as “When have you had a failure that could be a success if you looked at the right way?

 Each is an inspiring thought for the day.

Learning to cope with grief from her parent’s experience

Becky lost a brother who was 17 and her parent’s only son. She was able to model how her parents dealt with that experience. They stayed positive but were always real. It hurt and they weren’t afraid to show that hurt. But they also showed Becky different ways to cope. Her dad was very public about it and did grief lectures to help others going through the same thing. Her mother was private and involved with private support groups. When you see people coping healthily, it’s easier to do it yourself.

Becoming a Best-Selling Author

It took Becky twenty years to write her first book. Writing a book was much different than writing columns so she educated herself by taking classes and getting coaching.

She says one way to cope with adversity and stay positive is to always keep learning.

She didn’t see herself as a writer at first. She had worked with IBM in sales and marketing for ten years selling computers before she became paralyzed. It was therapeutic for her to write and now, through the connections she has gained helps others cope.

Helping others, even though her life didn’t turn out how she planned gives her purpose.