How to Not Be Boring at Parties and Other Social Events

You know what I’m talking about. A guest at a party drones on and on about the mundane happenings in their life. They aren’t toxic or mean. . . they’re just boring.

A boring person will often try to dominate the conversation. Each sentence they utter ends without a pause so that the person they are talking to cannot jump in and respond. They keep talking while those around them get droopy-eyed or walk away.

Often people like that are detail-oriented and thrive on minutiae. They will give you every tidbit of their snore-inducing story until you are ready to scream. Boring people may also talk in a slow monotone without inflection making it hard to hold your attention. You may bob your head occasionally just to show them you are still awake and semi-listening.

It’s not all about you

When you speak to someone at a party do you find yourself regaling them with things that happened to you rather than asking them questions to see what they are excited about? If so, you may be a boring person. Human beings want to feel important so allow the person you are talking to express their views in a conversation. Show them you are interested in what they have to say and how THEY feel.

Don’t play the victim card

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone who whines constantly about all the injustices done to them? It’s always someone else’s fault. Their life is total crap. Or they constantly criticize everything under the sun. No one wants to spend time placating Debbie Downer. A victim is looking for sympathy and attention but is mostly boring and not fun to be with.

Listen more

Boring people feel like they must speak when they should be listening and don’t pick up queues from those around them. They are tone deaf to what others are saying and may even interrupt a conversation missing the context. If you are a Chatty Cathy at parties, take frequent breaks to listen to what others are saying.

Read the room  

Do your friends start to shuffle or yawn when you are speaking to them? You might want to shut your trap for a while or move on to another topic. We have a friend who constantly tells snooze-worthy stories about her accounting business.  Unless you are another accountant and understand her lingo you have no idea what she is talking about.

However, her attention to detail came in handy when we wanted to play a new board game as she was the one who deciphered all the rules and figured out how the game worked.

Take in the environment so you know what is going on around you before stepping into a conversation. Someone could be in an emotional or heated conversation with someone else and it would not be the right moment to interrupt it

Reading the room could also prevent you from offending someone by suddenly mentioning a sensitive topic at an inappropriate time.

Being quiet doesn’t mean you’re boring

Sometimes we associate quiet people at parties as being boring while those who are chattier in reality may be the boring ones. Just because someone is shy doesn’t mean they lull others to sleep. They may just be observant. A more extroverted partygoer might attempt to draw that person into a conversation by asking them how they are or what makes them tick.

Show you care by connecting 100 percent

A boring person is easily distracted and does not make eye contact. They may gaze at their smartphones while another person is trying to speak to them. By not connecting completely it shows that the person does not care about the other person in the conversation.

Turn people on to avoid being a boring person

A fun person at a party tends to be memorable because they can emotionally engage others. Rather than ask boring questions such as “How is work going?” try asking “What was the best part of your week?”

Ask less why, when, and what questions and more open-ended how and why questions such as “How do you do what you do?” or “Why do you think dreams have hidden meanings?”