It’s always hard to hear that a person has passed away from cancer. It’s a horrible disease that can completely change a person’s life as well as their families, causing deep pain and enormous stress. With Senator John McCain’s passing from Glioblastoma Multiforme, it brings back the pain my family went through when my husband succumbed to the same disease.
Glioblastoma Multiforme is one of the worst forms of brain cancer a person can get. Very few people live through it and the average survival rate from diagnosis is 15-16 months. My husband made it 9 months. The fact that Senator McCain, at 81 years old, survived for 14 months is amazing because it’s extremely aggressive.
Once a tumor forms in the brain it’s near to impossible to get rid of it 100%. Even if a doctor operates and extracts it, there are still cells floating around that will rapidly regrow as a new tumor.
My husband’s brain cancer diagnosis
We found out about my husband’s diagnosis when he had a seizure. He was helping a friend flea-bomb his apartment and we thought he inhaled too much bug spray. His friend called 911 and he was rushed to a hospital. They did a C-scan but found nothing.
Several weeks afterward, he started losing his balance. I took him to a neurologist for an examination. The doctor scheduled him for an MRI and they found a mass in his brain. The diagnosis was glioblastoma multiforme and he was told to get his affairs in order.
He had surgery to remove the tumor and was put on chemo and radiation. The radiation oncologist turned out to be Dr. Lewinsky. (Monica’s father) It was difficult watching a man who had been in perfect shape and who was never ill, start to deteriorate.
Our ordeal
He had several seizures between the time he was diagnosed until he passed away. One time he was home alone with my son who was 11 years old at the time. I was at a friend’s house attempting to start a new business selling makeup because he could no longer work anymore. My son called 911 and then called me. Thank heavens for Boy Scout training! I rushed home before he was put into the ambulance, but I can’t imagine the trauma my son went through.
Putting words and sentences together became difficult. He would forget words or replace them with something that didn’t make sense. Cooking was therapeutic for him because he had to follow a recipe. It would take hours for him to complete cooking a meal, but it gave him a sense of satisfaction afterward.
I had to take the car keys away from him because he wasn’t allowed to drive. One time, he swiped the keys and headed to a donut shop. As he was leaving he bumped into a car in the parking lot. After that, the keys had to be locked up.
There were times when I traveled across town for work and it was always a challenge leaving him home when the kids were in school. They also had to be picked up and taken to where ever they needed to go to give them a semblance of normal life.
Our last-ditch effort
We were about to try a different treatment protocol at UCLA and had gone to the first appointment with a new doctor. A week later my husband collapsed in the bathroom. I was told to take him to the ER at UCLA the next morning. His brother came to help me put him in the car and drive him over because I couldn’t do it by myself. By the time we got there, he was in bad shape.
He stayed at UCLA Medical Center for two nights and then they wanted me to take him home because there wasn’t anything else they could do. My parents hadn’t arrived yet from up North to take care of my kids and I didn’t think I’d be able to deal with taking care of my dying husband at home. I convinced the hospital to have him transferred to the Motion Picture Hospital where he had his own room. His family, including his mother, arrived just in time from Michigan to bid him goodbye before he passed away. At the time of his death, he was just 49 years old.
My sympathies go out to Senator McCain’s family
I know what the McCain family went through because I experienced it myself. Ted Kennedy and Beau Biden also died from Glioblastoma Multiforme.
Let’s hope this terrible disease will be wiped off the planet soon, as well as all other cancers. My wish is that no one else or their families will have to suffer the consequences of it.
RIP Senator McCain. Thank you for your service to this nation. To donate to end this horrific disease, click here.
Do you have any Glioblastoma caregiver stories or have you care for someone with another type of cancer? Please leave a comment below.
i’m so sorry for your loss. i’m sure senator mccain’s death has brought it all back to the surface. sending big hugs and lots of healing prayers to you and your family.
Thanks, Meg. It happened in 2001 but it’s still tough to think about.
I am sorry for your loss at such a young age too! Cancer is horrible. Thank-you for sharing your insights into this disease.
It certainly is, Haralee. Let’s hope we find a cure. Right now there isn’t one.
Rebecca, what a strong and amazing woman you are. Thank you for this. It cannot ever be easy to remember those days and how your husband suffered. My husband has a chronic form of leukemia, but as the years pass our lives have accommodated the doctor visits, the chemo etc. What you had to deal with was a death sentence, traumatic. Your strength comes through in your words. Blessings on your husband and on John McCain–a true patriot.
Thanks, Beth. I appreciate that and it sounds like you are doing the same. Caregiving is challenging. Now the guy I live with has a non-aggressive lymphoma but is in the hospital for what may be something more serious. We are hoping for the best. It would be nice if cancer just went away. Maybe someday, it will.
I am sorry for the memories that this has stirred up. Cancer has taken too many people near and dear to all of us. May a cure for this scourge be found in our lifetimes (and dementia, too.)
Thanks, Alana. Almost everyone has been affected by it in some way. Let’s hope.
Thank you for your courage in sharing this deeply personal and insightful post. You are a strong and compassionate person. I can only hope that you won’t have to face the pain and loss a second time. Sending you heart-healing hugs.
Thanks, so much Penny. I really appreciate it. Even though it happened in 2001, it will always be hard.
My fiancé was diagnosed on 1/8/19 with GBM. He is 57. I spent 28 days with him in the hospital and we have been home for 5 nights. I have worked in healthcare for 24 years and nothing prepared me to become a caregiver but I wouldn’t trade being here for him at all. My heart goes out to all the others affected by this cruel disease.
Crysty, I’m so sorry to hear about your fiance’s diagnosis. How devastating! I’m so glad you are there for him. It’s incredibly difficult. I know some advances have been made in immunotherapy and other treatments since my husband was diagnosed in 2001. Wishing you both the best of luck and stay strong. Make sure to take care of yourself as well. I’m going through it again now. My sig other was diagnosed with stage 4 Pancreatic cancer which is just as bad.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband 47 was just diagnosed with this December 3 and in a few short weeks we have balance problems, cognitive problems, speech deficit it’s unreal how fast it can change your entire life in the blink of a eye.
Hi Christy, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s very scary. There have been many advances in treatment since my husband died 20 years ago so I wish you a much better outcome. Please take care of yourself as well as it will take a toll on you if you don’t.
My husband ( age 65) had two seizures 6 months apart. Both times a mri and cat scan we performed but found nothing. Then 10 months later, 2 blackouts – with the second time, November 17 they found the tumour and it was diagnosed as GBM Grade 4,,,,he had surgery November 24. Starting Jan he was on 6 weeks radiation and chemo. What worries me is the GBM is unmethalayted, so concerned what next mri will show. He has a break of 4 weeks then starts chemo again…the only deterioration I have noticed is short term memory. What makes me feel helpless is all the questions and statements he says…like…why should I bother with this if I’m going to die anyway? I don’t know how to respond….I keep telling him to have hope but he knows the statistics and doesn’t believe in hope …
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It’s a rough disease to deal with. I understand his concern and that he doesn’t believe in hope but there have been many advances in medicine since my husband died 20 years ago. All you can do is support him and help him through it.